Grief and Loss
“Grief is a natural process of discovering what was lost, what is left, and what is possible.” - Author John Schneider
And grief is the price we pay for loving.
Grief is a normal, full body response—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual-- to a loss of someone or something of great value. It can include endings—and also beginnings--which start with grief and mourning. Grief is different from normal losses such as disappointments and frustrations in life, when you can get over your sadness in a short period of time.
But any loss can cause grief.
Grief is individual. And it hurts. It can be despairing, isolating, and overwhelming. It is difficult, painful, and confusing. It causes conflicting emotions because of the change or ending of something familiar. There is nothing like it.
If you are in the midst of grief, your world is now different.
You are likely asking, "What do I do now? Where do I go? What will my life look like now?"
You feel you have no foundation, no firm place to stand any longer, and you may feel unsteady and stuck.
There are many types of losses:
ඏ Death of a loved one
ඏ Death of a pet
ඏ Chronic or terminal illness
ඏ Moving out of your home or office
ඏ Divorce or relationship break-up
ඏ Loss of a job
ඏ Loss of financial stability
ඏ Loss of a friendship
ඏ Loss of safety after a trauma
Grief can be experienced in many different ways and each person experiences grief differently. It often feels like a roller coaster of emotions. It can come in waves and there is no warning. And it really never goes away—but as our world becomes expanded in the aftermath, the grief gets less focus and becomes more manageable as we go about our new daily activities.
Some typical symptoms are fear, guilt, anger, sleeplessness, inability to focus, inability to do the tasks we used to do, extreme sadness, confusion, emptiness. And—a big one—loss of dreams. The dreams of our future will now be changed.
Every part of your life looks different—friendships, family relationships, your job, your hobbies, your environment.
The good news
But there is good news! Through grief, you have the potential to transform your life into the next best you. Most people are very resilient and are meant to heal. We are meant to transform, to change, to become whole. It may not look like it now, but there is great hope for a wonderful new life. It will take patience and trust and the ability to sit in the Great Unknown for awhile. Sort of like in an incubator for the new you.
Healing can’t be forced or hurried—there is no normal timetable for grieving.
I chose the nautilus shell as a metaphor for life—we are always closing off parts or chambers of our lives, moving into an expanded life, while still retaining what we have before. And we never stop growing. If we can embrace this, and know that we can move forward, life again can become happy and fulfilling.
How Healing Touch can help
You will be given the opportunity to be really heard—to hear your story—and not be judged. Compassion, nurturing, focusing on you—not your family or friends—in a peaceful, calm environment. And you will go away with some simple tools for your healing process.
When was the last time you felt peaceful and at ease? When have you ever been really heard, with no judgment? Where have you felt comfortable sharing all your feelings without judgment, but with compassion and understanding? Healing Touch at Peaceful Transitions can provide that.
Healing Touch can also help ease those uncomfortable symptoms and bring you that much needed peace. Peace that can then allow you to tap into the core of YOU, your true guidance, for your next steps in life. The new possibilities, the glimmers, of new dreams and a new life. A new and expanded you. You can start to make baby steps towards a new future that can again be filled with joy and hope.
Yes, it will be a different life, but it will be one filled with new experiences and new ways of looking at the world. And a new you.